


through timeless words & priceless pictures

by piratekelly



Series: what a beautiful mess this is [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst Lite, Developing Relationship, Family, Gen, M/M, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 02:29:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7872487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piratekelly/pseuds/piratekelly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny can handle a lot of things, but silence isn’t one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	through timeless words & priceless pictures

\--

Danny’s been told by many people that he’s very loud. Some are more delicate about it, commenting on his “big personality,” his “boisterous attitude” and his “zest for life,” while others shot him looks and told him in no uncertain terms that if he didn’t shut the fuck up, he was going to be dead soon.

Danny comes from a large New Jersey, Catholic, Italian family. He’s been yelling since the day he was born, and it’s unlikely that he’ll ever stop.

\--

It’s not like he’s surprised that silence is a foreign concept to the Williams clan. Everything they do is an exercise in raising noise levels, an experiment on how long it’ll take the neighbors to walk over in the show and tell them they need to keep it down. Anything below the frequency of a dog whistle is just too quiet for them, and only God Himself could bring any level of stillness to their household. Danny thinks it’s unlikely that He’ll ever grace them with His presence if He ever really listened to their dinner prayers.

“Bless us, O Lord,” his father bellows. “And these Thy gifts --”

The smack of his mother’s hand as Jonathan reaches for a roll.

“-- which we are about to receive --”

A knee hitting the table, rattling the silverware.

“Catherine, quit kicking your sister,” his mom whispers.

“-- from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord --”

Johnny pinches the inside of Danny’s arm.

“The _fuck_?” he yells, punching his brother in the arm.

His dad sighs, resting his forehead on his folded hands, resigned. “...Amen.”

\--

Dinner is the quietest affair he knows. Family reunions are even worse. High school, college graduations, sporting events, anything and everything that involved more than three members of his family in the same place at the same time meant temporary hearing loss for anyone in the immediate vicinity. His heart is full, beating loud under his skin like a drum, thriving in the chaos of his family.

The noise in his head calms when he meets Rachel.

In hindsight, he should have known that it wasn’t a good sign.

\--

Their wedding is a loud affair, at least on his side of the aisle. Her very reserved, conservative English parents have flown in for the occasion, and they couldn’t stick out any more if they actually tried. Her mother’s constantly looks like she’s sucked on a lemon, looking down her nose at his family, who are drunkenly taking over the dance floor. Her dad just nurses a glass of scotch the entire night.

It doesn’t matter to Danny anyway. He hasn’t heard anything over the chorus of his beautiful, smart wife saying “I do” ringing in his ears since they were uttered.

\--

His life reaches a different level of noisy after Gracie is born.

She cries all the _time_ , which makes the dog bark, which wakes Rachel up from the shortest nap known to any first-time parent, which means he’s not hearing the end of it until everyone is calmed down and the house goes silent before it all starts up again ten minutes later.

Rachel may treasure the moments of silence they get, but for Danny, any noise coming from Grace is the best noise he’s ever heard.

Her cries and giggles, her burps, the way she sniffles after a good cry, her yawns, the gentle puffs of air as she breathes when she’s laying on his chest, fast asleep, safe in her father’s arms. The pitter-patter of tiny feet coming down the hall once she learns to walk, the way her tiny hands clap together during a rousing game of peek-a-boo. He’s never been so happy to be surrounded by noise in his entire life. What once seemed like a small burden now feels like the most precious gift, the ability to hear every little thing this tiny body can do and know that he had a part in that.

Danny is awestruck all the time, amazed by what he and Rachel did together, the joy they brought into the world in the form of this tiny, perfect little girl.

He wants it to last forever.

\--

It doesn’t.

Rachel moves out and takes Grace with her. Takes Max, too. All this time together and she couldn’t even leave him the dog. The only thing he hears for a week is the sound of the divorce papers hitting the table when he throws them. He wants Grace with him, but with his job, his lack of resources and income, he doesn’t stand a chance. He won’t put Gracie through that.

He signs the papers.

For the first time in his life, the house is quiet.

\--

It’s not that he _hates_ Hawaii. Anyone would be happy to live in paradise, where the sun always shines and the beach is a step away from your front door. If he were less bitter, he might be able to call this home. But home has noise, car alarms blaring in the middle of the night, drunks yelling as they leave the bar, kids playing in the streets on hot summer days.

Hawaii is quiet.

He keeps to himself, keeps his head down at work and does his job, and waits until he gets his time with Grace. That might actually be the problem.

Danny doesn’t have anyone here. No friends, his co-workers keep calling him _haole_ and want nothing to do with him outside of the office, and he is fully aware that he’s an outsider here. No one here will share his distaste of the beach, or the lack of fog in the morning, or the fact that the air is just too damn clean. There’s no companionship to be found outside of his five year old daughter, and while she’s the light of his life, he could use another adult around sometimes.

The only time his apartment feels like home is when she’s there, playing with Dolphin Trainer Annie while he makes tacos (again), listens to her chatter about Dora’s latest exploring adventure over dinner, revels in the deep breaths she takes as he reads her to sleep. She is the only thing he doesn’t regret out of the last five years. She is what keeps him going, his motivation to keep Hawaii a safer place, his reason to get out of bed every morning and make it home every night.

Ninety percent of his month is spent alone, either at his place or at his desk at HPD, when his little girl isn’t around. Danny can handle a lot of things, but silence isn’t one of them.

\--

Steve McGarrett knocks on his door two weeks later and his life is considerably less quiet after that.

\--

This is not the kind of noise he was looking for, but he’ll take it. The explosions, the never ending gunfire, Steve yammering on about this and that and just walking away, expecting Danny to follow suit without asking any questions, those are things he doesn’t anticipate getting used to.

And yet.

It doesn’t take him long to settle into his partnership with this crazy asshole, but they work. Steve is all quiet contemplation, where Danny thinks out loud. Where Steve never thinks things through, Danny is always five steps ahead, trying to keep them from dying on a daily basis. They are the yin to each other’s yang, and what started as an unexpected pairing turns into a successful working relationship that quickly grows into a solid friendship.

These things - having beers on the beach, grilling out at Steve’s, solving cases and doing good work with people he likes - these things he can get used to pretty easily.

\--

Danny’s spitballing ideas for how they could take down the head of a drug cartel shipping tainted heroin onto the island when Steve interrupts him.

“Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?” he asks, leaning back in his office chair, feet propped up on his desk, the picture of a smug, smug man in power.

Danny nods. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re a schmuck?”

“Not in so many words, no.”

“Well then,” Danny replies, reaching out and shoving Steve back, sending the other man and his chair toppling to the floor. “There’s a first time for everything, isn’t there?”

The only thing he hears is Steve groaning from below. Danny saunters out of his office, contemplating how to treat himself for a job well done.

\--

They argue like an old married couple and it drives Chin and Kono crazy. It’s reached the point that they don’t even have conversations anymore, they just yell and snark at each other until one of them comes up with some ingenious idea that the other takes credit for. It’s just how they communicate with each other. He’s never argued with a partner like this, not even Eddie back in Jersey, who could talk a man to death if given the chance. There are moments, Danny knows, where the focus has to be on the job and not the conversation at hand. Somehow, he and Steve manage to do both at the same time.

They snipe at each other the way he and Rachel did when they first started dating. Gentle jabs meant to make the other smile, inside jokes that, to outsiders, would seem hurtful but were really just reminders of how well they knew each other. This is not so different from that, his relationship with Steve, but there’s an understanding between them - over what, he doesn’t know - perhaps an acknowledgement that they connect on very basic, fundamental levels in ways they never have with other people that makes what they have unique. Danny’s never been able to share work and personal struggles with the same person before, and he’s pretty sure Steve’s just never had anyone to talk to, ever. There’s a balance that they find, between work and getting their shit together, that makes them compatible.

Steve brings out the loudmouth in him. Danny forces Steve to smile sometimes.

In hindsight, he really should have seen it coming.

\--

It takes him a while to work up the nerve to show up at Steve’s house without warning. Once he knocks, there’s no taking it back. They’ve been dancing around this for a long time - whether it’s because they’re not sure, or they’re waiting for the other to make the first move, he doesn’t know - but whatever it is that’s been holding them back has to be dealt with. He needs to know, one way or another; either way, he’s moving forward.

The look on Steve’s face when he opens the door to find Danny standing there is all the confirmation he needs.

They run on the beach and all he can hear is the beating of his own heart, the ocean waves, and Steve’s steady footsteps on his right. They don’t speak, just keep moving forward, turning back only when his legs start burning. His mind is quiet, focused on the task at hand and nothing else.

When they get back, Steve silently offers him a bottle of water from the fridge. Danny nods, reaching out to accept it, but between one blink and the next, the bottle disappears and is replaced by Steve’s hand. Warm, calloused fingers envelope his, and Danny’s breath catches in his throat. He wants to ask what Steve wants from this, if they’re both really ready for this to happen, but he’s afraid that if he speaks, if he breaks the comfortable stillness between them, then it will all go away.

Steve pulls him close, and Danny can feel warm puffs of breath brushing the skin of his cheek, and his eyes close. He revels in this, the perfect lazy moment where two people just exist, no expectations, no demands, just finding a way to be less alone in the world. They hold on to each other, right there in Steve’s kitchen, listening to nothing but the ceiling fan in the living room as it twirls and twirls and twirls, and Danny feels a peacefulness settle within him. This, he knows, is right. This is good. This has the potential to be something _great_.

It’s possible that Danny’s been thinking about silence all wrong. Maybe it’s not the quiet itself that’s good or bad, but rather the people he shares those quiet moments with that define it.

Maybe, he thinks, as he leans further into Steve’s embrace, silence isn’t so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own. this is a fun little project i've taken on recently, and there will be at least a third part to wrap it all up. title is from jason mraz's "beautiful mess". comments and kudos are love.


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